You're automatically on edge and expecting confrontation because that's how it's always been.
Your phone lights up and it's a message from your ex...
your stomach goes into a knot, your heart starts pounding, you get a lump in your throat, and beads of sweat start to form on your forehead
ding ding
I'm ready for things to change!
Good communication is the bridge between confrontation and compromise.
When you're sharing your kids with your ex, it can feel like every conversation is a fight. Even something simple can escalate quickly because it's personal.
most people don't know how to communicate with their ex
they feel the need to defend themselves
they use trigger words
they escalate the conversation instead of diffusing it
Even if you do know different tips on how to communicate with a difficult ex, you're not really getting to the root cause of *why* your communication isn't working with them. You might be able to fix things for a while but it always goes back to the same old thing.
When you're trying to get your point across, it makes sense to want your ex to agree with you but that can sometimes makes things worse.
Using harsh language or bringing up the past can make any conversation high conflict. If your ex is trying to start a fight, you don't want to give them an impulsive reaction.
It's natural to want to explain your point of view, but when you're dealing with a history of arguing, your comments can come across the wrong way.
the truth is...
nothing changes if nothing changes
One of the main reasons why a relationship fails is communication.
Just because you're separated doesn't mean you are automatically going to get along with your ex. In fact, it's usually the exact opposite.
Most of the issues you struggled with while you were together are made every worse now that you're apart.
Only now you aren't on the same team anymore.
it's a whole new ballgame
so it's no surprise that this is something you're still struggling with even after your break-up
how it would feel to...
understand the underlying issues at play when communicating with someone you have a history with
recognize the patterns from your past that are resurfacing so that you can start to see lasting change from the inside out
identify the different types of communication styles to improve and understand where people are really coming from
be aware of the most common communication issues in custody situations and shift your response to achieve a more aligned outcome
just imagine
do you ever feel like you're talking to a brick wall?
If Your Conversations Just Go Around in Circles...
When you establish a pattern of communication, every conversation can automatically fall back into that same cadence. So if you are in the habit of arguing (that most likely started before you even split) it's hard to break that cycle unless you know how to disrupt the status quo.
that's exactly why I've created an entire course completely focused on communication.
listen up
Collaborative Communication
a strategy to improve interactions
Learn how to get your point across productively and peacefully by restructuring your thoughts and phrases
a cheat code to decipher destructive language
Become an active listener that can translate aggressive comments into their underlying meaning to respond peacefully while still getting your point across
reprogram your patterns
Recognize the signs of a conversation that isn't going anywhere and learn how to restructure your thoughts to align your dialogue with a positive outcome for everyone
introducing...
a step by step guide to go from conflict to compromise with your ex
an exact framework
go from...
"You're not even listening"
feeling heard and validated &
understanding their point of view
being able to see through the gaslighting tactics & not taking them personally
restructuring the conversation & being able to compromise
"What's your problem?"
"It's your fault that..."
to apply to every interaction with your ex
conflict compromise
you'll have a framework to apply to every interaction with your ex so you can go from
Once you purchase, you'll receive a workbook download that includes a link to the live training. After the call, I'll send you a replay so you'll always have access to the course.