You're automatically on edge and expecting confrontation because that's how it's always been.
your stomach goes into a knot, your heart starts pounding, you get a lump in your throat, and beads of sweat start to form on your forehead
When you're sharing your kids with your ex, it can feel like every conversation is a fight. Even something simple can escalate quickly because it's personal.
they feel the need to defend themselves
they use trigger words
they escalate the conversation instead of diffusing it
When you're trying to get your point across, it makes sense to want your ex to agree with you but that can sometimes makes things worse.
Using harsh language or bringing up the past can make any conversation high conflict. If your ex is trying to start a fight, you don't want to give them an impulsive reaction.
It's natural to want to explain your point of view, but when you're dealing with a history of arguing, your comments can come across the wrong way.
nothing changes if nothing changes
One of the main reasons why a relationship fails is communication.
Just because you're separated doesn't mean you are automatically going to get along with your ex. In fact, it's usually the exact opposite.
Most of the issues you struggled with while you were together are made every worse now that you're apart.
Only now you aren't on the same team anymore.
it's a whole new ballgame
do you ever feel like you're talking to a brick wall?
When you establish a pattern of communication, every conversation can automatically fall back into that same cadence. So if you are in the habit of arguing (that most likely started before you even split) it's hard to break that cycle unless you know how to disrupt the status quo.
that's exactly why I've created an entire course completely focused on communication.
Learn how to get your point across productively and peacefully by restructuring your thoughts and phrases
Become an active listener that can translate aggressive comments into their underlying meaning to respond peacefully while still getting your point across
Recognize the signs of a conversation that isn't going anywhere and learn how to restructure your thoughts to align your dialogue with a positive outcome for everyone
"You're not even listening"
feeling heard and validated &
understanding their point of view
being able to see through the gaslighting tactics & not taking them personally
restructuring the conversation & being able to compromise
"What's your problem?"
"It's your fault that..."
Once you purchase, you'll receive a workbook download that includes a link to the live training. After the call, I'll send you a replay so you'll always have access to the course.